Week 9: Meth Smells BAD!

Howdy everyone, this week’s been okay. Nothing that amazing happened; just a normal week. The weird thing is, having a “meh” week actually makes me more aware of God’s love…Weird! Guess it falls into the idea of things being easily measured by their counterparts. You know it’s dark by the lack of light.

Let’s get ‘er done!

30th May

So we got some fresh (and free) hair trims from a member, it was sweet! We played some pool, bullied each other, the usual. We rushed on back home ‘cause we had mentoring sessions and we made it JUST in time. The following information is only cool for people that were in my ward when I was young – my mentor was Naomi Mancebo!

Then we went and had lunch with Brother C*****. He has some very… interesting… views. Not just on the usual things, but also on doctors. He doesn’t believe in them. Well… he believes they exist. He doesn’t see them as the Tooth Fairy or some other supernatural being, but rather doesn’t believe they help us. Especially when it comes to allergies. He believes people with allergies – particularly seasonal allergies – have been brainwashed. It was rather enlightening seeing as I’m someone who “suffers” from “allergies”. I am cured… BRING ON THE PEANUTS! Anyway, he bought us lunch. We didn’t really want what he was offering… so used the money he had given us to buy ourselves something we wanted. One of his friends, who is a lifelong member of the NRA (I am only making an assumption), has a hat saying “Lifelong Member of the NRA” and I don’t believe he’d lie about that. He also was an interesting fella… he tried bashing us but I think a life of non-medical drug use led to his demise. It was hard not to laugh, especially when he said he had a PhD in Theology but couldn’t tell us what specifically he studied and at which university.

Called home. The connection was rubbish so it’s pretty frustrating and can get demoralising. It’s worse then not calling at all 🙁

Visited a man named E.T. He’s a cool guy, not interested… but cool! He takes every opportunity he can get to call me fat… which is funny coming from a guy in adult diapers 🙂

We finished off the day with food at the L*****s as usual! We had hotdogs cooked over the fire. I had a West Virginia ‘slaw dog and it was pretty amazing!! It’s chilli (sans the beans), diced onion, and fine coleslaw. Tres bon! Then finished off with s’mores. It was my first real s’more and wow… messy, but good!

31st May

Went on exchanges again. Because Elder Ruchti went home, we have a new District Leader and he wanted to do exchanges. ANOTHER DRIVE TO HUNTINGTON BABY.

Elder Sorensen (the new DL) is actually a cool guy so the day was good! We went dotting but it was the middle of the day on a Wednesday so no one was in… of course.

We went to a meth lab. Then we went door knocking… oh… you want me to elaborate on the meth lab? Why? Just casually walked up to a door… ladies barking and dogs screaming … people in the back flipping trays of meth… people on the sofa smoking it… dogs trying to smash their way through the windows and eat us… just normal stuff ya know? Nothing out of the ordinary.

Nah, I’ll keep it a buck fifty with all y’all’s (y’all is singular and all y’alls is plural)… it was frightening. I’ve been in a lot of sketchy situations before… but that was actually distressing. The smell alone was awful… like nothing I’d ever smelt before. A weird, cloying mix of just everything I’d ever smelt. The closest comparison I’d say is a sweaty porta-potty… but with more stench. 

Met a guy who said “Christ is Satan because He makes people worship man instead of God”…hmm.

Had a lesson with a lady and booked a date for her baptism! This was the first time she had met with the missionaries in months. For all the RMs reading, she went from a Yellow Dot to a Green Star in like 10 minutes… it was wild.

Met with the couple I had met with last time I was on exchanges… they kinda bashed us again but I was in the mood for it… and I actually taught them a lesson… on my own! And they ended up agreeing!

Had ribs for dinner. Very good!

1st June

We genuinely kinda did nothing… ended exchanges, went dotting, and then had dinner at T*****’s. I love her so much!!!!! She’s basically our grandma. No joke… missionaries go home and name their kids after her!

2nd June

Elder Dana had exchanges in Huntington but Elder Oldfield had an eye exam in Charleston… so we went on splits! I think I’ve said this before, but Oldfield and I are the same person!  He’s a cool guy and, because we’re the same person, that makes me cool right… RIGHT?!?! 

The drive up to Charleston was fun. Blasting some Motab and chatting. I fell asleep in the optician’s with my mouth open. I was sat directly opposite the receptionist. So embarrassed. But that’s all okay because we got some SICK food! It was amazing and CHEAPPPPPPP!! The drive home was vibesssss.

We went dotting and visited with some old ladies who were FLIRTING with us. They’re a lot of fun! They invited us out dancing and we may have to take them up on that offer… We cooked steak bowls for dinner (one of my favourite meals now) and chilled. Very good day!

3rd June

I’ve been out for TWO MONTHS!! I won’t dwell on this too much because, although I want my emails to be real, I want these to be uplifting. This day was rough for me. Not because we had a boring day or anything to do with the substance of the day, I guess I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. EVERYTHING was annoying me, and I mean ANNOYING me. The substance of the day was actually pretty decent! It’s just I wasn’t in the greatest place emotionally.

We started of the morning by driving out it to the BOONIES as a quad. It was sweet. We had a member out there and so planned on swinging by. Even set up an appointment… he wasn’t there. He had a really cute Australian Shepherd puppy. I’ve noticed that my allergy to dogs disappears whenever the dog is cute… maybe Brother C***** was right! The pup had a couple of ticks, one of them being a deer tick right on its eye, so we played with him, got him laid down and tried to keep him distracted as Oldfield attempted to remove it. We were unsuccessful but got the others out.

Then the quad split up. Elder Smith and I went to see some people that were close by and then got lunch at this family restaurant called Cheech’s. It was amazing (and cheap)!!

I had a terrible headache and wanted to die so took a nap. Then on to our weekly lesson with S*****. It’s 15 minutes after we normally meet up and she’s not there so we give her a call. “Oh I forgot, hehehehe”. SHE HAS BEEN MEETING WITH MISSIONARIES AT THE SAME PLACE AT THE SAME TIME EVERY WEEK FOR 10 WEEKS! Oh well. It started TIPPING it down and thunder storming but it was still like 25° outside. It was wild!

We went to see Brother M***** and I made Elder Smith park far away so we could walk in the rain. I loved it but he wasn’t the biggest fan! Brother M***** is always a highlight of the week!

4th June

Church and then visiting members. Pretty standard… not much to report on. Meeting with old people is always fun, especially when they start telling their stories. They’re terribly lonely and so when some young lads are more then willing to just sit and listen they pounce on the chance to share some tales from days gone by. It’s made even better when you add a thick WV accent on top. I may need to sit down with the old members and almost interview them and record it.

5th June

It’s the last P-day of the transfer so most of the Zone met up in Huntington and hung out. Its always nice hanging out with a bunch of people. Then went to B-Dubbs for lunch, Again, unfortunately I was not able to steal one of their pens 🙁

Life’s good out here. I’m enjoying the work. This transfer has gone super quick, but it’s been awesome!!

Tell me what’s happening back home!!

Love all y’alls 

Elder Bishop